Growing Old

I want to be with you forever.

I plan to grow old by your side.

 We’ll go on adventures together,

both leaving no option untried.

Someday, we may have matching canes,

or blend all our food into soup.

We’ll talk, on the porch, of our pains,

and snog, even though we booth droop.

Then one day, when I need a scooter,

we’ll add on a special sidecar

so I may ride close to my suitor,

not caring if we look bizarre.

I welcome the wrinkles and gray,

wait up for the dentures and flab,

don’t mind if you need a toupée,

or stop for an afternoon nap.

As long as I’m with you, life’s great.

There’s no place that I’d rather be.

You’ll always be my perfect date,

at twenty-six or ninety-three.

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The Edge of 40

I know the reason all my clothes are feeling tight.

They’re tight, yeah, baby! So tight, yeah, baby!

I’m gaining inches ’round my thighs, my butt and waist each night.

I’m wearing miniskirts but at my age it’s wrong.

They’re tight, yeah, baby! So tight, yeah, baby!

The plus size section’s where my pocketbook belongs tonight.

[Bridge:]

It’s hard to suck it in, to hide my double chin.

I’ve let my body go, let my back fat show;

it’s something I’m not frightened of!

[Chorus:]

I’m on the edge of 40, and it’s time that I should look at the truth.

Out on the edge of 40 and I’m now admitting I’m past my youth.

I’m on the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge,

I’m on the edge of 40 and I’m hanging on my last scrap of youth.

I’m on the edge of youth.

 

I’ll purchase modest clothes to eat food that is fried.

They’re tight, yeah, baby! So tight, yeah, baby!

I’m on the edge of buying larger underwear tonight.

Put on a girdle so my jeans will fit the same.

They’re tight, yeah, baby! So tight, yeah, baby!

Metabolism and earth’s gravity are what I blame.

Alright! Alright!

[Bridge:]

It’s hard to suck it in, to hide my double chin.

I’ve let my body go, let my back fat show;

it’s something I’m not frightened of!

[Chorus:]

I’m on the edge of 40, and it’s time that I should look at the truth.

Out on the edge of 40 and I’m now admitting I’m past my youth.

I’m on the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge,

I’m on the edge of 40 and I’m hanging on my last scrap of youth.

 

I’m on the edge of youth.

I’m on the edge of youth.

I’m on the edge of youth.

I’m on the edge of youth.

[Chorus:]

I’m on the edge of 40, and it’s time that I should look at the truth.

Out on the edge of 40 and I’m now admitting I’m past my youth.

I’m on the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge,

I’m on the edge of 40 and I’m hanging on my last scrap of youth.

I’m on the edge of youth.

 

Lyrics ©Bridget Ayres

Set to Lady Gaga’s “The Edge of Glory”

The Inevitable

Again, this May, I gained another year.

An extra inch or three are on my waist.

The lines upon my brow grow more severe.

My keys and purse are constantly misplaced.

I have to have these bifocals to see.

My sunglasses near cover my whole face.

At times, when I am tickled, I will pee.

I always carry safety pins, in case ….

Just yesterday I found a hair that’s gray.

I value having comfy underwear.

  Those memories I’ve cherished fade each day …

if there’s an app for that, I’m unaware.

I wish  I could remain composed and calm.

The problem is, I’ve realized I’m my mom.

Remembering When Life Was Easy

rolling down the highway, singing tunes from days of yore

feeling happy, joyous, light, and free

on my way to meet friends who reside within my core

people who have turned me into Me

stay up all night talking till the dawn has come again

keeping glasses full and telling tales

laughing loud and commenting on stories of back when

others fill in blanks when memory fails

how I love these people more than words could ever say

so glad they were there when I was young

we’re so lucky we could all, together, pave our way

such great folks I spent my time among

some of us have changed a bit but mostly are the same

I can still relate to every one

how I feel ’bout them is something no one else can claim

far too weak are words like “love” and “fun”

even though we have to leave and go back to our lives

meeting now and then’s a thing we need

a chance to learn to love each other’s husbands, kids, and wives

as we over-drink, snap pics, and over-feed

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